I was coming back from a short trip to a beach town in the Northern Rio de Janeiro comfortably sitting in the front passenger seat. I had just swum in crystal clear water, eaten fresh fish, and had a few sips of a capirinha, now feeling fully relaxed. The sun was about to set, and I was fully absorbed by the mesmerizing show that was being put on in front of me on the sky. The clouds were playfully morphing into unimaginable shapes, the sun shining right through them: a dragons would turn into a turtle, then suddenly becoming a castle. The colors started to change slowly, from blinding yellow, to bright orange, deep red, then pale violet, finally disappearing in graying hues. When I became aware of myself, I realized I was having a what I can only describe as an orgasmic experience. It was as if the sunset had penetrated my whole being and I was fully taken by its glorious beauty, breathless yet fully present. I could feel this experience in every cell of my body, losing myself fully in the fleeting eternity.
I tried to share my intimate experience with my husband, but it almost felt inappropriate. It dawned on me that this was exactly what I was always struggling to accomplish with endless attempts at meditations and mindfulness exercises. Being aware and fully awake, experiencing the present moment with uttermost awareness and awe, melting the self away in the glorious whole.
Recently, I had started practicing pranic breathing, bhandas (contractions) within the Tao of Love & Sexuality course while strengthening awareness and imagination within an unique meditation practice (Presence Training) I’ve been lucky to have access to as the founder of Imbody Wellness. Both of these practices allowed me to connect to myself, feel the present moment through deep breathing, internal contractions, and imaginative meditation. But what had happened to me in the car caught me by surprise: it was a spontaneous insight to the very thing I pursued without knowing exactly what it was supposed to feel like.
In oriental philosophies, breathing fully is the most powerful way to connect to the self, to the vital energy, to sexuality, the source of everything. Taoism defines sexuality as our vital energy and breathing as the connection to the powerful energy field, the Tao. Some, like Osho, believe that we stop being fully present and allowing ourselves to feel pleasure when we are first told not to touch ourselves. In that moment, when we sense the danger, we hold our breath, and desegregate our body, creating a separation and disconnecting from parts of the self that give us pleasure by making our breath incomplete and shallow. We eventually lose the ability to breathe fully, depriving ourselves from experiencing the self in its entirety.
The partial breathing keeps the energy from reaching the abdomen, and reproductive organs, slowly disconnecting them from the rest of our body, thus compromising our ability to be (what’s described by 1st chakra) and to feel pleasure (2nd chakra).
What I experienced in the car clearly incorporated those seemingly unrelated concepts in a blissful moment, that became the first step towards the recovery of orgasmic living, to the childlike exuberance of perceiving reality as magic. The power of full breathing had reconnected my whole body and then reintegrated me with the rest of nature and being. The modern wellness practices focus on consciously focusing our awareness and gratitude to the present moment. I’ve found that using breathing and imagination is not only more objective but infinitely more powerful in its ability to access the subconsciousness directly at a cellular level, without us having to process or reason. Sensefulness, or the way I describe the more primal way way of being aware, allows us to experience orgasmic living to its fullest. All it takes is a few full deep breaths.